I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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