9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
