forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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