Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
