It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
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