Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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