dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
