he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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