Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
