we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
