my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
