i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Randomize
