OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
