Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Randomize
