The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize
