operation harelip BJ is a go
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
