he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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