where am i from again
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
