it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
