Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Randomize
