oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize