I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
