I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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