You can't special order awesome
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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