why didn't you poke me back
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
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