Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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