I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
