We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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