last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
So much rum. So many feels.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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