I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
