Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
