I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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