Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
