Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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