I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Randomize