i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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