That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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