I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
