He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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