is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I believe in your delicious
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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