dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
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