her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
