Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
