youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
