in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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