you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
