Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
