have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
