Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
