marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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