Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
