I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
