We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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