i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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