Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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