Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
So vagazzling was a success
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