You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
