Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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