I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Randomize
