My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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