were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Randomize
