So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
