After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
