my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
