i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
